You shouldn't believe everything you read in the paper, and neither do we (even when, as is sometimes the case, we wrote it ourselves).
Here for your elucidation is Rogues & Vagabonds own newspaper, full of mostly imaginary news, wishful thinking and random fibs.
As recommended by Mr Fluffy (who finds it most useful for lining the litter tray, when he can be bothered to use one).
You shouldn't believe everything you read in the paper, and neither do we (even when, as is sometimes the case, we wrote it ourselves).