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 This harmless innocent boy could soon be without a job if turnip sales continue to plummet.
Ostend Market trader Dame Manky has sold only three trays this season. "We were selling twice that every weekend this time last year. I'm about ready to retire but I do worry about the Boy." Her assistant, aged 13, could soon be without a job if turnip sales continue to plummet. "I'm faced with a career as a sparky's appentice where I'll earn a pitiful 8 times more than my present salary and gain social respect that I'll have no use for." The dramatic drop is sales is thought to be due to a number of factors including bad weather, turnip-loving predators such as vegetarian badgers, and carbohydrate phobia. "But the single most serious factor would have to be the glut on the market of cheap Taiwanese imitations." says Turnip Trade Commissioner Bruce Bumble. "They're mass produced, nasty rip-offs grown in fields by untrained, underpaid farmers." Consumers are urged to check the label before buying to ensure that they are getting quality locally produced items. Meanwhile, Warren Petulant, the president of the Ostend Turnip Fetishists and Root Vegetables Codependents Society said "This is a moral outrage. I blame everyone."
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