Snowdon in stair fiasco

Mayoral Candidate Dalek Snowdon, still stinging from last week's cruel campaign of hoarding vandalism, today faced a new obstacle to his political aspiratiions.

Visiting the mayoral office in Auckland's Town Hall this afternoon "to check if the colour scheme is to his liking", Mr Snowdon was "shocked and appalled" to discover that the building was "excessively stair filled".

"It's a disgrace" he said at a press conference today.

"To think that in this day and age public buildings should still discriminate against the stair-challenged in this way."

Snowdon complained that lifts and wheelchair ramps, while presumably suitable to the needs of wheelchaired humans, were not up to dealing with his "imposingly built" Dalekenium physique.

"We're really in the dark ages here." he said. "It's discrimination, yet again. Next they'll be waving that damn Punch cartoon in my face and expecting me to find it funny." 

 When a junior reporter from the Daily Anorak pointed out that the whole Dalek vs stairs issue is a piece of mythology  that was disproven in 1988, again in 2005 and most comprehensively in 2006 during the Canary Wharf incident, Snowdon was quick to set the record straight.

"That's the problem with the young people of today", he said, exterminating the reporter in question while he was still only halfway through his list of Top 999 Retcons (Volume 2).

"They forget that there was life before CGI."

"Back in the 1960s there was none of this fancy levitating stuff. We just had to stand at the bottom of the stairs and shout."

Snowdon has vowed to hold a silent vigil at the Town Hall, exterminating one council employee every hour, until his needs are met.

"We're sure that this act of  unfortunate but heartfelt genocide will soon have the people of Auckland rallying behind us in an effort to prevent more unnecessary council deaths."

"Umm...yeah." said Jaime Nerbler, Auckland City's Manager of Wage Cattle.