All in the name of postmodernism

 As a ratepayer I have very strong feelings about my rates being spent giving grants to ratbags and scallywags who then use them to put on "performances" in various theatres and woodsheds. Too often these people's ideas of "entertainment" involve squid juggling, putting ferrets in their undies, flogging each other with socks full of wet custard and staring at cutlery, all in the name of Postmodernism. What happened to good old fashioned family entertainment, such as jolly old musicals and public hangings?
 Yours petulantly
The Rev. Morris Scunthorpe

Dalek Snowdon replies;

You are exactly right. Rate payers money being wasted on so called 'Performing Arts', or any other kind of arts is something I take very seriously and will tackle the moment I am elected Mayor.

As is well known, 'Being Artistic' is a form of illness. Sufferers display symptoms such as daubing paint onto canvas, wood, walls or close friends. Others make unspeakable shapes out of mud.

Some of the worst afflicted Art sufferers take over large buildings and posture strangely on so called 'Stages'. They were unforgivable hats. They squeal in nasty ways. Some even drop their trousers to the distress of many.

It is a short step from declaring oneself 'Artistic' to questioning the right of Daleks to run everything. Clearly this must be stopped. Under my leadership, Auckland will be free of all Artistic activities.