Alex Duncan

We've got more recent and far more flattering photos of Alex but we decided not to use them.

“Helix Daunting” (from the Gaelic “helks duntng” which means “a small white octopus”); noun: young, naïve, and likely to tinker in annoying ways.

This best describes the alter ego of young thespian Alex Duncan, known for over-acting, sub-acting, and even circum-acting when the occasion called for it. Helix was the result of an unfortunate spell-checking incident involving a word processor, a broadband modem and a 0.26 caffeine reading on the breathalyser of the first paramedic to arrive after “the accident”. Alex has since learned, through the judicious use of malt, hops, barley and yeast to control his sillier side, though Helix did get custody of the kidneys on Saturday mornings.

Alex graduated Magna-Cum-To-My-Place-After-School from the Imperial University of Bad Comedy in Dufftown, Scotland and accepted a teaching post at his almer mater on his graduation day, when he hired a male stripper to pose as a motivational speaker at the graduate’s breakfast. He now lectures in One Liners, Interruptions and Miscellaneous Rehearsal Time-Wasters, and in his spare time works on a book based on his life’s work, Asterisks, and How to Draw Them Properly Without Looking Like a Gibbon With Cerebral Palsy. Several publishers have expressed interest in the book, including Random Scouse, a well-known British publisher of regional theatre literature.

In his younger days, Alex played bongo drums in a rythymless blues band, called “OffBeet”. The band’s strong anti-vegetarianism message and catchy songs quickly propelled them to the top, and it was only a short time before they played in front of a sellout crowd, during the “Meat on the Streets” benefit concert for recovering vegans. The crowd rioted during their signature hit “Give Geese a Chance” and the band vowed never to play again when the vocalist was pulled into the crowd and eaten by “a bunch of meat-starved hippies who had just broken their collective duck”. Alex pursued a solo career, and released an album some years later. So They Said I Couldn’t Do It But Really They’re Just Knobheads Who Are Jealous Of My Talent with its long kazoo solos, and psychedelic didgeridoo overtures was considered ahead of its time, and subsequently sold a meagre 28 copies. 24 are on display in Alex’s trophy room in his house on a beach overlooking an artificial lake on what used to be a uranium mine.

Rogues and Vagabonds take pride in discovering new talent in the community. Alex Duncan was discovered when Alan reached into the glove box in his car and found a pimply youth nestled between some old Creedence Clearwater tapes and a half finished packet of hard jubes, frantically replacing Alan’s stereo from within. He was quickly exorcised from this position, and dropped iPod first into a role in the next production.

Alex quickly flourished in his new-found acting career, saying in an interview on the North Shore Show that he’d never felt so appreciated. The rest of Rogues and Vagabonds agreed, stating that Alex was a genius in a donkey suit, and that his talent for tying things together with small pieces of string was unmatched in his generation.